The balance of consequences - Just another HR Nazi scheme

A friend of mine works for a certain company and that company might just be Dow Corning. Anyway he told me this story. The company gets employees to waste their time working out the "balance of consequences".

What is this "balance of consequences" lark?

Well it goes something like this. I arrive at my desk and I drop my computer bag beside my desk. The positive consequence would be something like: My bag is near me, I will be able to access it at a moments notice . The negative consequence would be something like: My bag has a strap and some stupid tit might fall on the strap and kill themselves. Although should the person be a member of HR, this could also be considered as a positive consequence. You get the idea, you must apply the "balance of consequences" methodology to every thought and action of yours.

But it gets better. HR not being content with just simply issuing a memo, go a couple of extra lengths to make sure the "balance of consequences" becomes a big part of your life.

First of all (and I am not making this up) they put a couple of electronic devices in the stairwells. These devices detect motion and parrot out "Hold the handrail" to those passing. However when a rep from L'Oreal fell over one and hurt himself (nearly fell down the stairs) while also damaging the device, it was realised that the "balance of consequences" had not been fully applied in relation to the devices.

Secondly the head of HR, in all her wisdom, took it upon herself one day to monitor people leaving the company car park. She duly noted those who were not wearing their seat belts. Those offenders received an email that was sent to the head honcho at Dow Corning. Right to the top.

They also have huge posters which they are going to hang extolling the virtues of the "balance of consequences" in true Nuremberg rally style.

So what's next, a mandatory yellow star of David for those not following the "balance of consequences" methodology correctly.

What is it with HR people. They generally seem to be a simple kind of folk and lack any vision. A certain leading company where I do a lot of contracting, has a few beauties. One of them has some stellar reading material. I was in her office and could not believe it when I saw on her desk the book, "The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People". If you think that such simplistic drivel is of value in understanding the complexity and diversity of people, what kind of staff will you hire?

Another freind of mine did an interview for a company where he now works. During the interview, in a burst of creativity, the interviewer asked him if he had any negative points. Rather than giving the usual "I work too hard" bullshit answer, he said "I am frequently late for work". The interviewer transformed into a goldfish and gulped for a couple of minutes and then said nothing. He did get the job. Furthermore he is an asset to the company as he actually possesses a brain. So he gets in a bit late to work sometimes, but he also works late. He is a good lateral and original thinker. So what if he comes in to work late. They are lucky to have him. The point I am trying to make is that turning recruitment into finding square pegs for square holes is a cancer for organisations. It seems as if in many ways western society has advanced but companies have regressed. The end result in many companies is that most people operate completely in their own interest to the detriment of the business. Bullshit "look at me" emails abound. Work becomes surviving in the workplace. One has to fit an expected image. The image is more important than the work you achieve.